Curse You Out
by Madame Mayhem
Summary: "I swear to Jashin, you make me wanna kill myself!" "Yeah? Good luck with that, idiot." Who would've thought, that the likes of those two would actually share a moment? Hidan/OC one-shot


**Author's Note: **Due to Hidan, this contains a lot of cursing. You have been warned.

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><p><em><strong>~ Curse You Out ~<strong>_

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><p>"You just think you're all kinds of shit, you're not even a full member you fucking bitch!"<p>

"Takes a bitch to make a bitch, you stupid Jashinist!"

"_Fuck _you, you fucking heathen!"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and he clenched his fist (that wasn't hanging on to the new bounty he'd found only a while ago). Hidan and Asami, the two of them gave him such a headache. His temper flared to dangerous heights long ago, and he's tried to kill them both a few times. But they'd evaded him every time he attacked, even though they were focused on each other they'd still kept their guard up around him.

And they were smart to.

Hidan alone was bad enough, but now that Asami had been added as a pending member along with Tobi she was constantly sent with the zombie combo as extra muscle by leader. Possibly due to her being immortal herself.

And much to Kakuzu's distaste, until another spot was opened to her and she was assigned an official partner, that's how it was going to stay. There was no telling how long that would take, it could be months or even years before one of the members had to be replaced.

With the fact that those two idiots couldn't seem to shut the hell up when around each other, Kakuzu didn't know if he could deal with that. And if killing them wouldn't work, he'd have to try a much different approach.

Kakuzu walked off of the trail and into the forest, with Hidan and Asami following close behind. Neither noticed what their masked comrade was doing, way too busy bickering with each other to see exactly where it was that they were going.

"You're a slave something that probably isn't even real!"

"Better than being a slave to a damn _weapon_!"

Kakuzu clenched his fist again.

No,

They would just block him again.

And that would only make him angrier. They all finally stopped at a river, and when he turned to look at them Asami stopped talking. Making Hidan glare harder at her.

"Didn't you hear what I said, bi—"

"Where are we Kakuzu?" Asami questioned, crossing her arms. Hidan didn't like how he was being ignored, and he damn sure didn't like how she just cut him off like that. But he to took the time to look at his surroundings.

"What the fuck ..." he trailed, then looked at Kakuzu. "You fucking stich-ass, this doesn't look like the damn collection office. What kind of shit are you trying to pull?!" he demanded to know, just what was he up to?

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, "You two are imbeciles." he said, plain and simply. "The collection office is still half an hour away and I'm not going to listen to either one of you for one more _second_, especially if I can't shut you up. I'm going the rest of the way alone and you idiots are staying right here until I get back."

Hidan glanced at Asami,

And Asami glanced right back at Hidan.

... Kakuzu couldn't actually be serious.

"That better be some kind of fucking joke." Hidan said. "You're not leaving me here with this bitch, _her_ ass can stay right here and _I'll _go with you." Hidan smirked. "It'll be just like the good ol' days."

"You weren't around during the good old days." Hidan glared at him. "Your mouth pisses me off, you're staying here Hidan."

"Then I'll go with you," Asami said, smiling. "if it's just me and you I'll be quiet as a mouse. You know that right?"

"Yes," he said, making Asami smile a little more. "but your _presence_ pisses me off." And there goes her smile.

**"_Everything _seems to piss him off" **Tamashii, the scythe on her back, said. And she nodded.

"You got that right." she said, and Hidan laughed.

"And you actually agree with him?" he asked, and Asami glared.

"I wasn't _talking _to him, stupid." she answered, and he glared back.

"Oh that's right, you were talking to that stupid scythe again? How the fuck am I suppose to know that?! Either it looks like you're talking to somebody or you're talking to yourself, you fucking weirdo! It's not like _I _can hear his ass!"

And that was Kakuzu's cue to leave.

He was gonna take his sweet time going to his destination.

Get all the peace and quiet that he possibly could.

"He probably wouldn't want you to anyway." she said.

**"I wouldn't,"**

Asami chuckled, and Hidan glared. "What's so fucking funny?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned with, Jashinist." she said, sticking out her tongue.

"I have a fucking name, bitch!"

"And so do I," She glared. "it's Asami."

"And I don't give two shits." he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"_Whatever_," she spat, then walked away from him.

"Now where the fuck are you going?!" he asked, she had the nerve to just walk away from him like that?

"Away from you!" she yelled back, plopping down on a rock that was about ten feet away.

Hidan scoffed. "Fine, see if I fucking care." he said, planting his butt right there on the ground. "Dumb bitch ..." he muttered under his breath

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><p><em>~ Forty Minutes Later ~<em>

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><p>The fact that they'd both stayed quiet for so long was almost disturbing, or at least it would be to anyone that knew them both. Now and then they'd steal glances at each other, but one would glare if they caught the other looking. Making them both look away at the same time.<p>

**"Asami ..." **Tamashii trailed.

"Yes, Tamashii?" she asked aloud, in her normal fashion. Catching the Jashinist's attention for a quick second.

**"... I require blood ..." **Asami sighed, she was hoping he wouldn't ask so soon. There obviously wasn't anyone in this forest for miles. Tamashii made it a point that he couldn't take the blood of his wielder, as she'd tried to give him hers once before. And when she gave the option of taking Hidan's once, he flat out refused.

"Where do you expect me to find someone exactly?" she asked irritably.

**"You're my keeper, so _figure it out_."** She rolled her eyes.

"I can't actually go looking until we all get back to the hideout, Kakuzu said to stay here remember?"

**"I don't care." **Damn it, he could be a real fucking pain sometimes. Was anyone really this stubborn?

"If you want blood so bad, then what about Hidan?" she asked, and Hidan glanced over at her again.

"What the hell ..." he trailed, were they talking about him? He heard his name.

**"I've told you countless times, the blood of a Jashinist is bitter and tainted."**

"Yeah ... so what?" she asked.

**"So I don't _want _it."** he said, bluntly, and Asami sighed.

"Yeah, he might be a Jashinist, but if you're gonna be so damn picky then you can kindly shut the hell up." she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Hey!" Hidan yelled, he heard that 'he might be a jashinist' thing! "Is that fucking scythe talking shit about me again?!" he questioned, standing up.

"Mind your own fucking business!" she snapped, making Hidan's eyes widen. Then they narrowed again.

She pisses him off, she pisses him off so damn bad and he can't do a damn thing about it. That was probably what pissed him off the most. He wouldn't be able to sacrifice her to Jashin (or hell even kill her) because she was immortal.

But that was more than likely what gave her the courage to speak to him that way all the time. She knew she wouldn't die for it, the bitch. But, then again, just because he couldn't kill her didn't exactly mean he couldn't do _something_. The most he ever did was yell back at her, nothing else.

Why was that?

"It _is _my business if you're talking about me, you fucking whore!" he snapped back, and then she stood up.

"_Whore_?!" She shouted, "Coming from the bastard who whores himself to his retard of a God all the damn time?!"

Hidan's mouth fell open,

No...

She...

Fucking...

Didn't...

"I never fucking—" he started, then began to sling curses at her. Then groaned. "I swear to fucking _Jashin_, you make me wanna kill myself!"

"Yeah? Good luck with that, idiot."

Whore was brave alright, normally he'd smack a bitch for talking about his God that way. For being smart with him _period_. But when she did it, it was different. Yeah, she pissed him off when she said stuff about Jashin. That was a given, no one disrespected his God that way.

But sometimes, he almost sort of ... _enjoyed _it when Asami yelled at him like that. That's why he almost always started things with her first, just so she'd snap right back. Now and then she'd even get a little flushed, just like she is now, and that's one thing that he liked the most.

He smirked at her. "You're made of bitch." he said, stepping closer.

"And you're a smart ass," she commented back, then narrowed her eyes. "and just _where _do you think you're going?" He ceased his walking.

"Where ever I fucking want to, you got a problem with that?" he asked, walking over to her once more.

"Actually, I do when it's towards me!" she exclaimed, her already flushed cheeks gaining another shade of pink.

**"The Jashinist must stay away ..." **Tamamshii muttered.

"It's not like I _want _him near me." Asami said, and Hidan narrowed his eyes. So the scythe was talking shit _again_?

"I don't give a fuck about what you want!" he said, quickening his pace. When he was right in front of her, he grabbed her wrist before she could back away. "I'll do whatever the hell I want to!"

She felt her heart's pace quicken a little, what was he doing? Even though all he did was grab her wrist, normally he didn't touch her at all. Claiming that he didn't want to catch her 'heathen'. It surprised her a little, because that small action showed that things were starting to escalate a little.

"What the _hell _do you think that you're doing?" she dared to ask, and he smirked at her wickedly.

"_What I want." _he hissed at her, and she stiffened. "You do this shit on purpose, don't you?" he asked, yanking her arm back so she fell into his chest. Wrapping his other arm around her to hold her there. "Talking to me like that, _looking _at me like that ... fucking _sick_."

"W-what ..." What was he going on about?

She never...

... Huh?!

She was confused, to say the least. And she was, for the most part, begging to grow creeped out.

"I don't know what you're talking about ..." she trailed, and he scoffed.

"Yeah, _sure _you don't." he said. "Whether you realize it or not, you're still doing it. That's the damn point."

"Doing _what_?!" she yelled in his face, and his smirk widened.

He leaned in a little, so close that their breath was hitting each others face. "_That_," he said. "being a fucking tease ..." he trailed, and before she could even say anything she froze.

Hidan had brushed his lips against hers, then planted a full on kiss to them. Her eyes widened, gasping in shock. The man that she fought with on a day to day basis, the man that she was pretty much convinced hated her guts and vice versa ... he was kissing her ...

At first when she felt his lips press against hers, she tried her best to fight against him. But the more that she fought it, the more the kiss would intensify. It wasn't until his tongue forced it's way into her mouth that she finally surrendered to his kiss.

It was rough, more than expected from Hidan, with a bit of something else mixed into it. Something that Asami couldn't put her finger on at the moment, and maybe even Hidan didn't know what it was himself. The only thing that either knew, was that they liked what was going on.

Soon enough, Asami began to return it. Making Hidan smirk in victory. He let go of her wrist and wrapped the arm around her waist, whilst she wrapped both of hers around his neck. They molded together and soon found their own rhythm, holding each other even tighter.

Both of their eyes closed, her arms leaving from around his neck to run up and down the exposed portion of his chest. Hidan running his hands up and down her sides in response. This went on until they both desired their needed air.

When they broke apart, they merely stared at each other. Panting.

Asami's hands clamped onto his shoulders,

Hidan's on her hips.

He even had the tiniest, nearly unnoticeable, blush on his cheeks.

"... What the _hell _are you two doing?" Kakuzu ask, watching as they both jumped in surprise. Whipping their heads around so quickly to look at him, he was surprised they didn't snap off.

He didn't know what went on while he was gone.

But, if he hadn't known any better, he would've thought that they were going to kiss each other. That was what it looked like.

Hidan glanced back at Asami, then to Kakuzu with a smug look on his face. "Bitch couldn't keep her hands off me." he said, and Asami gaped at him. "But, then again, I'm a man with a pulse. Whores are into that, right?"

... That son of a bitch ...

Asami glared at him, then shoved him away. "Don't try to flatter yourself Hidan." She turned to Kakuzu, then smirked. "Poor little Hidan thought he could get a smooch, it's just _that_awful being Jashin's bitch."

A vain throbbed on Hidan's head, as he glared at Asami.

"But I don't kiss people with dick breath." she stated, giving a hardy laugh.

Kakuzu stared blankly at the two of them, while Hidan yelled.

"Bitch! If _anybody_ has dick breath it's _you_! You fucking whore bag!"

And just like that, any possible chance they could have had for a moment was ruined.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Hidan went just a tad OOC at a few points, if you ask me, but if you mix romance with _him _... well, then that's just expected. Isn't it? I wanted to make this at least three thousand words, but I guess this is close enough ne? I hoped you liked it, and even laughed at some parts!

_Review for me, 'tis your destiny... _


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